Dr. John Gottman – Gottman Level 3 Training

Training Objectives

At the completion of this training, you will be able to:

• Choose an intervention that is appropriate for the clients at the moment.
• Recognize the Four Horseman when one member of a couple exhibits that behavior.
• Stop the couple’s dyadic interaction when one member exhibits one of the four horseman. Describe the Four Horseman to the couple.
• Explain the antidote to the relevant horseman clearly and accurately.
• Coach the person with an alternative way to express him- or herself using an appropriate antidote.
• Re-direct the couple to resume communication in a dyadic way. Continue to monitor for the four horsemen and intervene if they reemerge.
• Identify when one or both partners are physiologically flooded (and not just upset) and stop the interaction between the couple.
• Provide a brief explanation of flooding in clear, sensitive language.
• Intervene by guiding one or both partners through a relaxation technique before continuing.
• Explain the Dreams Within Conflict process and goals clearly.
• Instruct couple on the Dreams Within Conflict intervention.
• Assist one partner to ask the other partner questions about the dream or deeper meaning imbedded in their specific gridlocked issue.
• Provide The Dream Catcher Questions handout and coach one partner to ask the other questions from the handout to increase understanding of their partner’s underlying dreams or deeper meaning embedded in the specific gridlocked issue; help the couple hold to the questions to go deeper vs. getting into their own point of view.
• Introduce the concept of softened start-ups and explain why it helps (i.e., it is easier for their partner to hear and understand their point).
• Explain research showing that the first three minutes of a discussion predicts whether that discussion will go well and whether their overall relationship will go well.
• Explain importance of expressing needs in positive terms and instruct the partner to restate their point without criticism and then direct them to resume dyadic interaction.
• Stop couple’s interaction when one or both partners are not accepting influence.
• Explain the need for accepting influence (which may include reference to research). This includes finding a way to understand and honor some aspect of their partner’s position, with a focus on yielding and accepting influence rather than on persuading.
• Stop couple and instruct in the concept of offering and accepting repairs and why it is useful.
• Provide the Repair Checklist and explains it use.
• Ask appropriate Gottman Oral History questions and stay on track with sensitivity to couple’s issues and building rapport.
• Conduct Oral History interview with appropriate timing.
• Conduct Oral History interview with sensitivity to issues of co-morbidity.